I’m home for now…so here we go: Part 1 – KOTDM

The night before King of the Death Matches, I had a dream.  I won’t go into great detail but all I will say is it involved the “gem of a girl” and an amazing quintuple kryptonite.  No fear for those reading this…it isn’t anything dirty…it was just her showing up at KOTDM with her hair a certain way and looking a certain way for a photograph.  Alas, she didn’t show up so not even single kryptonite was approached.

I was on stand-by as a possible fill-in for the tournament if things went awry and extra bodies were needed.  Die Hard showed up with Drake Younger however so I was able to just do commentary with Ben Jordan.  That turned into a fun time.  It was great seeing Mitch and Rollin and Bull.

The Q & A session was very interesting.  I made my Q and A debut as someone asked a question about the cage match back in January.  I heard my name being bantered about so I left the ticket table and walked down to the session and Ian told me to come over and answer it instead of him talking for me.  Ian talked about the Jim Fannin Shit List and said it was longer than Santa Claus’ naughty and nice list for Christmas.  The anger, venom and hatred was thick in the air and I cut my answer short as I could see people sitting in utter horror listening to my response.

Mitch winning the KOTDM was awesome.  Ian vs. Mickie was unfrickingbelievable.  The crowd chanting “Mickie’s gonna kill you” and cheering nonstop for Mickie to beat Ian was almost as bizzaro universe as the Midlo and Streamwood crowds cheering Hype Shalwin like he is Hulk Hogan in the mid 80s.  I bet Mickie that she wouldn’t grab Ian’s cheeks and do the “who’s your baby girl” thing that she always does to cheer him up and I lost.  $20, dinner and a movie.  We went to see The Break-Up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.  Awesome movie.  We loved it.

There was lots of great chicanery at Denny’s after night one.  Mitch and Rollin joined Sox and Sox’s friend along with me.  Mitch and Rollin kept trying to use the silverware to look at the big breasted blonde that was sitting at the table behind them.  Rollin then took all the silverware and rubbed them in his armpits and licked them.  Troy then used the silverware later that night.  I had left right after the show ended to go eat with Sox and his friend.  Ian and company showed up much later after they had fooled around with fixing a part on the ring and clearing out the building.   Ian had told a story to the crowd that night about how he had a dream that me and him killed Vince Jones for busting our balls just like had just happened on The Sopranos.  I mention that because as soon as Ian made his way to the table the ball busting of me began.  He was naming names and everything in talking about how I was in such a hurry to get out of the building when the “gem of a girl” wasn’t even at the show to go to dinner with…he brought back up the fact that I left behind my Morris Redskin money clip the last time and then Troy and Troy’s friend Rich were asking questions and I was just looking around because they couldn’t have been talking to me.

On the way to Ian’s after KOTDM, we stopped at the outlet mall and did some shopping.  I got a 1969 Chicago Cubs hat.  Only Cubs fans would celebrate and hold in high regard the team that committed the biggest collaspe in sports history.  It truly speaks volumes for the mindset of Cub fans however.

When we got to Ian’s, Patti gave me and Mickie our godparent gifts.  I got a picture frame that says “I love my godfather” and Mickie got one that says “I love my godmother.”  I almost started crying.  It was quite an emotional weekend for me.  Mitch winning KOTDM almost made me tear up and the speech Ian gave after the match with Mickie almost made me cry.

Here is a picture of me holding James Christopher while he is wearing his Snoopy outfit and his “I love my godparents” bib:image gone 🙁

The fans had many great weapons at the tournament and I took some pics of them.  Here is an awesome sign:


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Someone took a walker…wrapped it in barbed wire and put light tubes on the legs and then added a stuffed Elmo for good measure:


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My favorite weapon however was David Cassidy record and Delta Force VHS wrapped in Barbed Wire:


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JC wrestled Drake Younger in a barefoot thumbtack match and JC won with a Low Ki double foot stomp onto lighttubes while Drake was in the tree of woe…This is Drake’s head after the match:


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Mitch and JC wrestled each other with Lobsters as weapons…here are pics showing the lobsters and then the lobster clamped onto JC’s face:



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This is how Mickie looked immediately following her match against Ian that was unGodly and then pictures from the days after the match showing her bruises, scratch on her face and the knot on her forehead:




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We’ll finish this part of the update with a cheery picture:  I’m wearing my 1969 Cubs hat and Charlie Brown Blockhead U tshirt and holding James Christopher while he wears a great tshirt himself:

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