This has got to be the world’s longest damn survey

I have decided to edit this long ass survey. That is what happens when it is 3 am and I can’t sleep. Plus I figure that no one wants a survey this long on their friends page. My life isn’t that interesting. Also, I have some good tirades buried in this thing that might go unnoticed because of the sheer volume in the orignal survey. Anyway, here is the condensed version of this survey which is still long as hell.
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Have you really nothing better to do? I surely don’t
Full name: James Michael Fannin
What about nicknames? JJ, Jim, Jimmy, Jimmy Jamm
Were you named after anyone? I was named after my dad’s brother who died in a car accident at age 16
When were you born? November 8, 1976
Where do you live and why? In my house in Morris, IL cause it is bought and paid for…no mortgage
Appearance:
How tall are you? 5’9” on a good day
How much do you weigh? 260-265 depending on when dinner is
What color is your hair? Dark Brown
Is that the result of genetics or hair dye? Genetics all the way
What is your hairstyle? Conservative…parted from right to left
What color are your eyes? Brown
Do you wear glasses? I’m supposed to at night while driving
Do you wear jewelry? I have a watch and a silver chain that I wear
Do you have any tattoos? Not unless I’m dead and my body has been vandalized
And piercings? Come near me w/ a needle and take your life into your own hands
Are you happy with your appearance in general? It’s what God gave me to work with
Your life, part I: the early years:
Where were you born? Morris Hospital in Morris, IL
Were you easy to please as a baby? I don’t remember because I was a baby
When did you start going to school? I was 3 when I started Junior Acres preschool
Did you have lots of friends? I was anti-social even back then
Were you bullied? I was made fun of because my dad was in a wheelchair
Did you have lots of toys? Not really…money went for doctor bills for my parents
What was your favorite? AWA wrestling figures and wrestling ring
raised to believe in Santa/God/Easter bunny/etc? Why is God included in this list? I don’t like that
Were you a good student? I got good grades but I wasn’t a good student.
What did you want to be as a kid? Politician with secondary dream of wrestling
Rate your childhood on a 1-10 scale: 3 but at least my parents loved me
Family:
Are your parents still together? In Heaven
If so: Did you know they still have sex with each other? Is that allowed in Heaven?
Do you have any siblings? I’m an only child
Do you like your parents and siblings? I miss them very much
Who’s your favorite family member? My Grandma Ada has been like a mom to me
How often do you see other members of the family? Christmas & Easter mostly
Has a member of your family ever been ostracized? Yes on both sides
Favorites:
Actor: Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Larry Hagman, Michael Chiklis
Ancient civilization: Ancient Roman Empire
Boy’s name: Mitchell after my father
Cartoon: Old School – Droopy Dog; New – Family Guy
Celebrity: Denise Richards or Reese Witherspoon
Commercial: The monkeys working in the office Career Builder commercials
Communication method: email/im
Conversation topic: The Shield
Day: Tuesday…new episodes of The Shield baby
Disease: Who has a favorite disease? WTF kind of question is that?
Drug: Tylenol PM
Fictional character: JR Ewing – Dallas and Vic Mackey – The Shield
Film: Godfather II
Film genre: Comedy
Food: Cheeseburgers with ketchup only
Football team: Morris Redskins followed by Chicago Bears
Girl’s name: Terri after my mom
Hair color: A girl with red hair is my kryptonite
Historical figure: Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, Napoleon
Insult: From the Sandlot – “You play ball like a girl”
Month: I don’t give a shit…they all suck the same
Murder method: Gunning someone down like Sonny got in Godfather I
Myth: Loch Ness Monster because it led to my favorite episode of South Park
Natural disaster: I used to like Kerry Von Erich so I’ll say Tornado
Organ: They are all important…except the appendix
Personality trait: loyalty/honesty
Planet: I tend to like Earth
Plant: I don’t like plants
Politician: Ronald Reagan
Punctuation mark: ! It sort of resembles a middle finger
Quote: “I would rather cheer my own death” – me about a lot of things
Room: Kitchen…that’s where the food is
School subject: History
Season: Baseball season
Shape: I’m out of shape
Talk show host: Conan O’Brien
Time period: I think I would have fit in well with the 1950s
Torturing method: hammer to all toes and fingers, sledgehammer to ankles and knees then a small caliber bullet to the stomach and pour salt and rubbing alcohol into the wound
TV show: The Shield
Way to waste time: internet
Year: 2002 and 2003 were as good as it is going to get for me
Music:
What kind of music do you like? Country, 60’s, Frank Sinatra
What’s your favorite band/artist? Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Sinatra
Why? Sinatra is just great music and songs and emotions
What about your least favorite? Rap and Heavy Metal
What’s your favorite CD? A mix CD that I had burned at Best Buy
What’s your favorite song? My Way by Sinatra, Anything But Mine by Chesney
And your least favorite song? Blue by LeAnn Rhimes
What’s your favorite vocalist? Martina McBride
Guitarist? I don’t know names of people in bands…I know the song and the band name and that is it
What is the sappiest song you like? Maybe some Beatles love song
What’s your favorite line from a song? “Bitch are You Retarded?”
What concerts have you been to? Johnny Cash, Janet Jackson & Usher, Tim McGraw (4) & Faith Hill (3), Sugarland, Miranda Lambert, Toby Keith, Ricochet, Tracy Lawrence, George Strait Music Festival (2), Mindy McCready, Martina McBride (2), Sara Evans/Brad Paisley/Sugarland, David Allan Coe several times, 2 Live Crew, Dave Matthews Band, Shania Twain (2), Dave Chappelle, Nick Lachey/Jessica Simpson
Current:
Book: I hate reading but I think this survey is long enough to be called a book
Desktop picture: A pic of me holding James Christopher with Ian sitting next to me
Pain: My ass hurts from sitting in this chair too long
Thought: damn there is a lot of lame ass questions in this survey
Wish: If I tell you, it won’t come true
Have you ever:
Attacked a police officer? Am I a fucking idiot?
Beaten someone up? Several times
Been beaten up? Several times
Been on top of a mountain? Not even on the bottom of a mountain
Been suspended? There was this time in IWA that I got suspended for throwing a fan through the wall…twice
Been run over? I was hit by a car once but not “run over”
Blamed someone else for something you did wrong? It’s never my fault
Bothered supermarket personnel for fun? How is that fun?
Bungee jumped? Not exactly but Joey, Mickie and me did the Six Flags version of it
Cheated on a test? People tried to copy off me but I only let Shannon Button do it…she used me.
Cussed at someone’s mother? No
Drunk an alcoholic beverage? 2 sips of Champagne and it was the gross
Fallen off a flight of stairs? Off a flight of stairs? No
Fired a gun? Several times
Gotten drunk in the morning/afternoon? Never been drunk at any time of day
Gotten lost? Men don’t get lost
Had a dream that came true? More like a nightmare that came true
Had a stalker? I don’t even have someone that sort of likes me let alone a stalker
Had something stolen? My bike as a kid, my bike as an adult
Handled a gun? You just asked if I fired a gun 10 questions ago…get new fucking questions
Jumped off a bridge? Yeah and I came back from the dead to tell others NOT TO FUCKING JUMP OFF A BRIDGE
Not eaten for 48 hours? I don’t like to go 8 hours without eating let alone 48
Passed out? A couple of times and it landed me in a hospital for a week
Seen a film more than five times in a theatre? At $10 a pop? Hell no.
Seen a supernova? Yeah he wrestled for IWA a couple of times
Skipped school? Yes…92% of the classes I had in college
Skydived? Why in the hell would I jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
Smoked a cigar? Nope not even when James Christopher was born
Smoked a cigarette? Nope
Smoked marijuana? No
Stalked someone? What is your definition of stalked?
Thrown a blunt object at someone’s head and hit? No but I have hit someone with a BW baseball bat…hard
Won a race? I used to beat Jacob Lestina, my childhood mortal enemy, all the time
Been caught masturbating in your shed? I don’t go into my shed…there are wasps and other bugs out there
This or that?
Apocalypse Now or Full Metal Jacket? FMJ is the greatest 45 minute long movie ever made…
Bath or shower? Shower…why sit in dirty water
Beach or city? City…less chance of drowning and getting bit by sharks
Beer or wine? water
Comedy or horror? Comedy
Evil or good? Evil
Future or past? Past…I at least know something good happened then
Ground or sky? I love being on the ground…hurts less when you fall
Hate or love? I have more hate than love
Instant messaging or phone? I hate phones
Mackerel or salmon? Hamburger
Mortality or to live forever? Why would I want to live forever with as much as I hate life and the world?
Planned or spontaneous? planned
Rainy or sunny? Sunny was hot but according to Brent, Rain is hotter than a toaster so that is a toss up
Red or yellow? I hate Hulkamania
Sunbathing or swimming? Me sunbathing gets reports of a beached whale…swimming gets me drowned
Last:
Amusement: JR destroying people on Dallas
Annoyance: this survey
Cry: Fifth amendment
Fight: Me vs. The World
Time you got drunk: There has got to be a first time before there can be a last time
Your life, part II: present:
Do you have a job? If so, what is it? I’m retired
What are your hobbies? Eating, sleeping, watching television
How much money do you have? Enough that I can be retired at age 29
Do you have a religion? If so: what is it? Non-denominational Protestant
Do you currently have any major problems? If so: what are they? Yes…no comment
How do you plan to fix them? They can’t be fixed
On a 1-10 scale, how would you rate your life right now? 2
Do you:
Consider yourself superior to others? To some
Like your voice? Not on tape
Piss in the shower? Generally before I get in
Read books for fun? Not even for school
Sleep more than eight hours a day? I would like to sleep more than 5 hours a day
Spend more than five hours a day online? Yes
Talk in your sleep? I don’t know…I’m asleep
Travel a lot? Yes
Use drugs? Tylenol PM
Watch tv for more than five hours a day? Yes
Are you:
A bad loser? The worst
Apathetic? Sometimes
Arrogant? Some people would say yes but no
Curious? That killed the cat you know
Easily amused? very
Easily distracted? What did you just ask me?
Emotional? Yes
Forgiving? I don’t forgive and I don’t forget
Funny? Some people think so…if you like hateful sarcasm
Greedy? Yes for certain things
Hateful? 250 of my 260 pounds is full of hate
Healthy? No
Lonely? very
Lost or incomplete? Incomplete
Narcissistic? There may only be one person out there that I hate more than myself
Outgoing? Not even a little bit
Paranoid? Why? Are you planning on doing something to me?
Politically correct? I think I’m always correct but the PC police don’t like me
Prone to nostalgia? About the things that I liked from the past
Respectful? To people that deserve it
Secretive? No comment
Stubborn? You can bet your last dollar on it
Temperamental? I’m a volcano waiting to explode
Tolerant? Nope
Unreasonable? People that disagree with me would say so
Friends:
How many offline friends do you have? There are 6
And online? A few more than that
Have you ever met any of them? All of them
Do you have a best friend? If so: what is his/her name? Yes…Ian, Maniwa, Chris
Which friend have you known the longest? And the shortest? Longest – Chris, shortest Fusion
Which friend lives closest to you? Chris
Which friend lives farthest from you? Maniwa by a couple of miles
Which friend is most introverted? Chris
Out of all your friends, who is most likely to become a criminal? Fusion? lol
Do you think you’ll have your friends in ten years? Yes, I don’t have many and the ones I do I keep
Love/sex:
What is your sexual preference? I would prefer to have it again at some point
Do you currently like someone? If so: who? Yes…I’m not naming names
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? NO
How long did your longest relationship last? 2 years
When was your first kiss? On the first date from that relationship
And your last? The last time that we kissed before breaking up
Your life, part III: future plans:
What do want to be? A father and a husband
Do you consider that a realistic target? Probably not
Do you plan on getting married? I don’t plan for miracles to happen
Do you want kids? If so: how many? Yes, 2 or 3 would be nice
Do you think you will be rich? I have enough money to live comfortably
Your opinion on:
Abortion: You don’t get pregnant from drinking the water. It isn’t a cold or flu. One thing leads to pregnancy. If you don’t want a kid, don’t do the ONE THING that can lead to one. Also, do you know that you will be put in prison and fined a huge sum of money if you take an egg of an animal that is on the endangered species list? Do you know why? Because it is illegal to kill those animals and the egg is going to become one of those animals after it is hatched. Last time I checked, murdering humans was illegal. I guess unborn human babies aren’t as important as unborn spotted owls or bald eagles.

Apathy: Why should I care?

Assisted suicide: I am against suicide. I think it is a sure way to go to hell. God gave us life and ending it before God plans is like saying “F you God, I don’t want your gift.”

Democracy: It is good in theory but giving the power to vote to anyone that is a certain age is dangerous. Do you know how many idiots vote when they have no idea what the hell they are voting for? I once had a guy tell me that he wouldn’t vote for Bob Dole because he shook hands with his left hand. I asked if he knew that Dole did so because he can’t use his right arm due to injuries suffered in WWII. The guy had no idea. What a fucking nimrod. People should have to pass an intelligence test before they can vote.

Drugs: I won’t use them but I can’t tell people what to do.

Euthanasia: Touchy subject but I don’t want to see a loved one in pain with no hope for getting better. We had to make this decision on my mom and I am just glad that she went on her own before we had to make a final choice.

Freedom of speech: I don’t think that idiots should have the right to talk
Genetic modification: Again, work with what you have…don’t tinker with it
Homosexuality: It isn’t for me & as long as they don’t try to recruit me, let them be

Internet romance: It can work if you are looking for the right things. I met Shaina on the internet and I wouldn’t trade those 2 years for anything.

Public nudity: I’m all for it coming from good looking women…I will keep my clothes on however

Religion: I believe that there is a higher power or else there wouldn’t be anything. For those that believe in big bang and evolution etc, where did the stuff come from to have a big bang? Where did the creatures come from that man evolved from? There is a higher power that caused it all to happen.

Taxes: I believe in a flat tax. 15% for everyone. The poor guy pays $4500 of his 30,000 a year and a richer man pays 15,000 of his 100,000. Everyone should have to pay the same rate. Figure out a wage that is the cutoff for what people have to start paying like 20,000. The rich guy is still paying a heck of a lot more into the pile than the poor guy but isn’t getting raped in the process.

War: I love war. It is needed every so often to cut down on overpopulation and to establish a food chain of world powers. It helps to get rid of animosity and a little war every now and then is good for the economy and increases patriotic feelings.
Questions that didn’t really fit in anywhere else:
Do you believe in aliens? It is a big universe. There might be other life forms out there somewhere.
If you could wish for anything in the world, what would it be? That I would have a loving family of my own
What pisses you off more than anything else? Failing to grant my mom and dad’s wish for me
What is your biggest fear? Failure
If you could get away with murder, who would you kill? Why? Everyone knows the answer to that question


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