Some thoughts as the year is about to come to an end…edited

I am so glad that I decided to start watching The Shield. It is a great show. I compare it to The Sopranos except the cops are the ones acting like the mob. Chris had told me about it a few times but sometimes his tastes differ greatly from mine. He still watches RAW and asks me what is going to happen on it before hand for crying out loud. I watched a few episodes from Season 3 while at Patti and Ian’s before James Christopher was born and instantly loved the show. I went out and bought Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD from Wal-Mart. I have already finished Season 1 and I’m through 4 episodes in Season 2. Wal-Mart had them for $20 a piece. I decided to spend $40 and get it from the beginning instead of paying $48 for just season 3. It seemed like a no brainer to me. Season 5 starts on January 10th so I will have to get the other 2 seasons before then and try to catch up. I doubt that I will though.

2005 is really a tale of 2 years for me. The first 10 months were full of failure, anger, frustration and just hating life. I couldn’t wait to stop being on the IWA shows and dreaded having a show to go to at all. Things have gotten much better over the last 2 months.

2005 has seen new friends and new enemies. Leaving behind Jim Fannin the manager allowed me to open up some areas of my life that were closed down. I got to meet some of the IWA fans and found out that I could actually like new people. Marc Fusion, Alex, Sox, Ray, Tiffany and Meg are all people that I wouldn’t have taken the time to talk with in years past. Now I converse with them on myspace, here on Live Journal and in some cases at football games and dinner. I don’t need to dive into the issue of new enemies. They know who they are.

2005 saw me try to get over a lost love in Shaina and deal with the failures of not even having a chance with Mickie. Luckily, I still have both in my life as friends although sometimes those relationships can be strained.

2005 has now seen me have to come back and once again get involved on the shows. It won’t last very long because once the problem is dealt with accordingly, I will once again walk away. I guess it is a lot like the character of Will Munny that Clint Eastwood played in Unforgiven. The outlaw had quit and moved on in life until such a dastardly act was committed that it forced him to have to return to his old ways to make sure that the people that committed the deed were punished justly. I am now doing the same. Once that person is dealt with and the message is sent that the same fate will await anyone else that tries it, I can again walk away from the life that I no longer want to have and hope that no one else forces me to return.

The last couple of months have been a great turnaround for me. I have slowly learned to allow myself to take joy from the less important things in life. Morris beat Joliet Catholic and went on to win the state championship. The Bears swept the Packers. I became a Godfather to a beautiful and now healthy baby boy. Those things right there are major important things that brought joy and let me forget about the important things that haven’t worked out in my favor. I found out that I liked that and well now I can enjoy smaller things too instead of saying “That’s nice but….”

Hell as a sign that things have turned around, I even got an offer from a woman to be my first kiss of 2006!

See some of you at the Strong Style Tournament. Those that I consider friends, don’t hold the beating that Jimmy Jacobs receives against me. He is just getting what he deserves. As for the others that made an appearance at a certain party after the last Hammond show when they were at the Hammond show, they will get theirs after Jimmy gets his. Some make half assed excuses for being there like “my ride went.” Well when I find myself at a place I don’t want to be due to my ride going there, I stay in the car. Simple enough solution for those with a brain that functions. Complex calculus written in Chinese for those that don’t. I will be the judge and jury on these situations and I’ll hire Bull and Corporal as my executioners. Let the heads begin to roll.


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