I just got off the phone to Ian and he gave me an update on Rollin Hard’s condition. The cancer has spread in his body and thus the surgery to remove 2/3rds of his colon was unsuccessful at ridding him of the cancer. Chemotherapy is the next step after he recovers enough from the surgery.

I talked some with Patti today about this and I guess it is just naturally feelings of asking “Why?” and “why not somebody else more deserving?” I have a shit list full of people that I would rather see in this predicament. Hell I would rather see myself in this predicament. Rollin has two children that depend on him and need him. I have some friends that would miss me but would definitely be able to continue on in life without me. I would be a much better choice for this to happen to than Rollin. I hate life. I hate the world. I’m anti-social. Who better to have something drastic happen to than me? Again, I’m sure it is a common feeling.

I will say that things like this definitely put things in perspective. I bitch and moan and complain about the world sticking it to me day after day but other than being a fatass, I still have my health. I’m not in any real physical pain. The pain I carry around is always emotional and nothing to be bitching about it comparatively. That doesn’t mean that I won’t still bellyache and cry about my plight and it definitely won’t mean that I’ll stop hating the world. It does mean that I will remember that there are worse things in life than broken hearts, shattered dreams, loneliness and everything else I whine about.

Ian is trying to put together a show before KOTDM in New Albany in order to raise some money to help out Rollin and his family. His wife just got turned down for government aid in the form of food stamps and such. The government can help the crack whores in the ghetto that have 50 kids with 50 different fathers and then they can turn their backs on a family that truly needs the help and deserves it. I hope that when the date gets set, that all the old IWA fans from the Louisville/Charlestown/Clarksville days that watched Rollin on a weekly basis entertain the hell out of them with the afro wig, kill Whitey sign etc come out and help raise money to help him.