I guess I will start with the Morris show. The turnout was 140 and it should have been 740. The football team did absolutely nothing to sell tickets and only 4 players from the entire program (freshman through varsity) showed up for the show. I was so pissed off that I couldn’t even watch most of the show. I think I only watched Mickie vs. Daizee and Joe vs. Hero. I really liked Joe vs. Hero and thought the stuff between Hero and Cannon after that was real good as well. The silver lining of the show was the fact that the #1 man on the shit list was no where to be found. That made it a tolerable night in the grand scheme of things because at least I didn’t have that pissing me off even further with as mad as I was about everything else. Fusion disappeared after the show thinking that there would be no dinner since the look on my face all night was the perfect example of the cliche “if looks could kill…” I can’t even begin to express the monumental failure that I feel towards the Morris show. I was all over the internet talking about what a great turnout it was going to be and thinking attendance record for IWA and instead it didn’t even outdraw Midlothian this weekend. I’d say it was like getting kicked in the balls and spit in the face but after what happened to Trik in Midlothian when he said that to Hero…

Mickie and I took Joe and Billy back to the airport at 4 am after the show and that was a fun trip. Billy and Joe were hilarious for the first part of the trip and then my zaniness while tired on the way home kept Mickie entertained.

Ian told me that I didn’t have to go to South Bend and could stay home and rest and cheer up and go to the football game. I wanted no part of going to the game since I was still mad at them. Morris wins 45-14 and Dergo is currently leading the webpoll for player of the night on Chicago Tribune’s site for running for 280 yards and scoring 5 TDs and kicking a field goal. I go to South Bend and had to see way too much Notre Dame shit while I was there. I’m so glad they f’n lost to USC. It looked like South Bend would be shit list free just like Morris but that got ruined with a late arrival. I then ended up having to ring announce.

Now for a tangent before going on to the Midlothian show. I’m mentally exhausted. I’ve been carrying hatred and anger around with me since I was three. I used to be young enough to handle the load and have room for more. These last several weeks have seen more hatred, anger, animosity and jealousy coursing through my body than ever before. As mentioned earlier in an update, it is so much hate and anger that there isn’t enough to go around to others on the bottom of the list like JC Bailey. I took Maniwa home with me after South Bend and I was able to vent some of my frustrations about things and not have to worry about pissing people off and causing trouble while he said the right things in trying to cheer me up (thanks bro wish it would have worked better). I will admit that I was wishing for time to stop just so the Midlothian show wouldn’t arrive because I didn’t want to go to the building and be around people that make me feel like a complete and total failure and loser. I don’t need any help in feeling crappy about myself. The show finally started and Ian came out and gave his speech and talked about how loyal I am and how much I love IWA. That just made me feel worse because now my loyalty and love is being tested and for the first time in my life, I am too tired to fight. In the immortal words of Vince McMahon “life sucks and then you die.” Well I will admit that I am afraid to find out how much more life can suck before I die.

I thought the Midlothian show was very good from what I watched. I picked on Jennessa most of the night and had her so mad she was about to hit me. Tyler vs. Josh was craziness. The stuff at the end of the night was unbelievable. I’ve gotten beat up twice now by Iron Saints while trying to rescue friends. I guess I’m a failure at that as well.

I hope that you are happy now Fusion as I was not going to make this update and then you had to go and post and request it.

Blah.

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1. Your name: James…Jim…Jimmy Jamm…JJ

2. What is your biggest accomplishment: I’m almost 29 years old and I have no major accomplishment.

3. What is your biggest regret: I have so many regrets that I can’t even begin to rank them

4. What is your biggest fear: Failure/Rejection…snakes…needles…heights…did I mention failure and rejection?

5. Are you in school: F No…been done with that for a loooong time

6. What do you plan on being “when you grow up”: well I’m already grown up so I guess this is what I have to look forward to

7. Do you work: Yes if you want to call it that

8. Where do you work: wherever IWA takes me.

9. Do you like your job: I hate wrestling…I hate some people that are on shows…shows aren’t much fun anymore but I love Ian and IWA so I like my job overall

10. Who would you consider your best friend(s): Ian, Nick Maniwa, Shaina, Mickie, Chris Finch – each have special places in my heart and keep me going

11. Do you think you are a good person: I have my moments where I can be to those I don’t really know and to my friends I am a very good person…to those that I don’t like – watch out because there will be no mistaking the fact that I don’t care whether you live or die and would prefer death and a painful one at that and it doesn’t take much to get onto that list. It could be guilt by association…jealousy…and then some that make it for reasons that others would agree with as legit reasons.

12. Are you in love: I was but now I am incapable of being in love because the key ingredients for that to happen are missing

13. With who: I think everyone who knows me knows who it WAS that I was last in love with

14. Do you have a crush on anyone: I have women that I think are very beautiful and nice that I would probably gladly go out with but none of them are even remotely interested in me in that fashion so no “crushes” per se

15. with who: I’m not ready to name names just yet

16. Do you have a celebrity crush: Well I did ask CM Punk to let Trish Stratus know that I’m available

17. Do you have a quote you live by: the quote that seems to have the most meaning to me right now comes from Vince McMahon: Life sucks and then you die

18. Do you have any words of wisdom to offer: Do unto others before they do unto you…cheaters never propser, they just win…all good offense stems from a good thumb to the eye…hook the leg man…save your coins…expect the worst so you can only be pleasantly surprised…duck the big boot…don’t drink the water in Mexico…don’t swim with sharks…a man has got to know his limitations…it is better to aim for the stars and miss than aim for a pile of dogshit and hit

19. Are you close to your family: My grandmas and a couple of aunts.

20. Looking back, how have you changed: I’ve mellowed with age and that is the truth as shocking as it sounds. Other than that, I don’t like change.

21. How have you not changed?: I am still an angry, pessimistic, stubborn, conservative, boring, fat, ugly, unpopular anti-social asshole to 99.99999999% of the world.

22. Who knows you the best?: Ian Rotten could write my biography from age 21 on and Chris Finch could write it from age 5-21. It would be in the bargain bin labled “books no one would want to read” but it would be a book nonetheless

23. Who knows you the least: everybody that is not in my inner circle

24. what does a day in your life include: eating cheeseburgers with ketchup only, sleeping, computer, hating myself, hating others, complaining, being depressed, hating some more, watching television and on weekend is IWA

25. is there anything about yourself you would change: If I changed anything about myself, I wouldn’t be me. Now if you want to ask me if I would want to be someone else, I would answer that there are people that I would rather be

26. What is your favorite band(s) or singer(s) right now: Kenny Chesney, Frank Sinatra, Toby Keith, Blake Shelton

27. what is your favorite movie(s): Anchorman, Stewie Griffin Untold Story, Patton, Godfather II, Rocky III

28. what is your favorite song(s): something country but hard to pick one song

29. What is your favorite tv show(s): All time – Dallas…Now- Entourage

30. Say anything you want here: It’s been so long since I’ve had a good day that I refuse to use it as my signature anymore

31. Who sent this to you, and what do you think of them?: I stole it from Cailey and I don’t know anything about her outside of what her answers were to this survey