I just about covered everything in the part one that was open to the public. Now for a few private thoughts made available to my friends only.
I’ve changed this update about five times now and figured perhaps I should have just made it private or done away with it altogether. I don’t need a bunch of people hating me.
First order of business to discuss I guess would be my breakfast with Shaina on Valentine’s Day. I enjoy what little time we spend together anymore and perhaps I will keep in touch a little more frequently. She will always have a special place in my heart since after all, she was my first real girlfriend and the first woman to love me in return. I don’t harbor any ill feelings. Things just didn’t work out between us. Hopefully she gets to come out to a show sometime soon because I know that she misses everyone and misses the shows.
Second order of business is to discuss “Rachel.” I will stay in Boy Meets World mode because I don’t totally trust the security of this friends only thing. I sent her a ecard in what could only be described as a pathetic cheesy flop. I have promised her that no further things like that will be attempted in the future. She constantly tells me to stop being so damn negative but you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I’ve been negative since I was three years old. My dad had his accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down and indirectly led to his death and the death of my mom when I was three. Since then, things have not gone the way that I would have wanted my life to go. Outside of getting into wrestling and the friends I’ve made because of it and meeting Shaina, I’d say that nothing has gone my way. Negative is all I know and it protects me. If you expect the worst, you can only be pleasantly surprised.
One of my favorite songs on the radio now is the song about giving up everything for one thing. On the big road trip, I asked “Rachel” what the one thing is that she would give everything up for and her response was “I’ve already given everything else up for wrestling.” I guess at this point in my life, I’ve given just about everything else up for wrestling. I gave up my college degree and I moved away from my blood family for several years and I’ve given up a lot of money. The only other thing out there that I would give up everything for would be a son that I could name after my dad and have carry on the Fannin name. However, that will never happen and I would be a horrible and clueless father anyway. I don’t think it would be a good idea to give up everything else for one thing anyway because then it would put too much pressure on that one thing to be damn good.
I think that should about cover everything over the last couple of weeks.
Good Day.
Leave a Reply