28 Signs You’re A Pro Wrestling Fan (orginal list somewhere else on the web, but now you find it here.)

1. When someone else says “WWF”, you jump to correct them. (and you’re sad you even have too.) Photos: WWF (World Wildlife Foundation) logo and Triple H gets mad GIF

2. You’ve grown tired of explaining to people how it’s NOT FAKE! (The result is predetermined)

Photo: “Mankind” Mick Foley jumps from top of barbed wire cage and lands on commentary table

And even more tired of their ass-backwards explanation of how things ‘really work.’ “You see, that table is made of reconstructed styrofoam, and they play the sound of wood breaking over the PA system at just the right time. Also, that concrete floor is actually just a trampoline made to look like concrete. And he’s wearing a body brace. And I’m an idiot.”

3. You have a love/hate relationship with the WWE. You hate what it’s become but would give anything for it to be what it once was.

Ultimate Warrior, Sgt Slaughter, Mr. Pefect, Road Warrior Animal (Legion of Doom, LOD),  Hulk Hogan, Road Warrior Hawk (Legion of Doom, LOD), Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich, Big Boss Man, Macho Man Randy Savage, The Natural Disasters Earthquake and Typhoon

RAW is WAR photo: Chyna, Triple H, New Age Outlaws Degeneration X, X-Pac, Badass Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, Cactus Jack (Mick Foley), Stone Cold Steve Austin (SCSA), Undertaker, Kane, Brothers of Destruction, The Dudley Boys, Buh Buh Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Edge and Christian, Y2J Chris Jericho, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Ahhhhh… Nostalgia…

4. You’ve become desensitized to seeing men of all shapes and sizes in ill-fitting spandex.

 

Photo: Rikishi (Fatu)

Not to mention the shaved armpits

5.  You’ll always think of The Rock as a wrestler first, who occasionally makes a movie or two on the side.

Do You Smell It?

Like that little gap between 2004 and 2012. I think that was three movies, actually.

6.  You have CDs of wrestler entrance themes that you’d prefer no one knew about. (But Jim Johnston is still the man.)

 

Photo CD Album Covers: Full Metal WWF World Wrestling Federation The Album, WWF the Music, WWF volume 4, WWF Aggression, WWF Forceable Entry, WWE Anthology, Superstar Themes

7.  You had early geography lessons via wrestler bios.

Bret The Hitman Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin SCSA, KOFI Kingston, Iron Sheik, Ultimate Warrior

8. You’ve read one or two or six of these

WWE and WWF Book Covers photo: Mankind Have a Nice Day, The Hardy Boyz: Exist 2 Inspire Matt and Jeff Hardy, Ric Flair WWE To Be The Man, Lita WWE A Less Traveled R.O.A.D The Reality of Amy Dumas, Bret Hart: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling, A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex Chris Jericho, The Legends of Wrestling – “Classy” Freddie Blassie: Listen You Pencil Necked Geeks, Heartbreak & Triumph Shawn Michaels

9. You’re ready to chant “E-C-W!” at a moment’s notice.

Cat drops onto windshield onto car.

Cat flying off of top of electrical pole, Inside edition GIF

10. When feeling cynical, you consider finally doing a full heel turn.

Photo: Hollywood Hulk Hogan dropping to one knee in front of Kevin Nash (Diesel) and Scott Hall (Razor Ramon) becoming the New World Order NWO GIF

 11. You look at folding chairs differently than most people

The Great Khali taking chair shot from Batista GIF

 

Shane McMahon  doing the Van Terminator to Vince McMahon

and trash cans..

 

broken light tubes.

12. You’ve tried four beers at once, Stone Cold style.

Stone Cold Steve Austin SCSA drinking four beers at once.

13.  and ripping apart your shirt, Hogan style.

Hulk Hogan ripping off his shirt

14. and taking off your towel Val Venis style

Val Venis touching his head and stomach

15.  If put in an amateur strip contest, you’d just do a bad Shawn Michaels impersonation.

Shawn Michaels, the heartbreak kid, HBK posing

admit it.

 16. Every time you have something important to say, you’d feel more important holding a microphone

Photo: CM Punk delivers a pipebomb on RAW on his way to becoming the Best In The World. BITW.

17.  You have one or two of these that are still pretty special.

 

Photo tshirts: NWO New World Order, Just Bring It!, Austin 3:16, E C F’N W, Hulkamania, Sex Violence

18. You’ve seen more TV weddings than soap opera fans

Photo: The match made in heaven, Miss Elizabeth and the Macho Man Randy Savage Summerslam 1991

Photo: Triple H drugs and marries Stephanie McMahon before she can marry Test. Linda McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Vince McMahon, Test

Photo: Chuck (Palumbo) and Billy (Badass Gunn) life partners

Photo: Kane and Lita get hitched

 

Photo: Dawn Marie and Al Wilson

‘scuse me while I get my hankie.

19. Every time you shave, you think, “Yeah, I can do a blade job. No problem.”

Photo: Latino Heat Eddie Guerrero bloodied.

Then you get nicked.

20.  You have a potentially dangerous urge to jump off ladders

Photo: Jeff Hardy puts Buh Buh Ray Dudley through a table GIF

21. You’re inadvertently trained in the secret code language of the business

Photo: Bingle-bongle, dingle-dangle, yickety-do, yickety-da, ping pong, lippy-tappy-too-ta GIF

In other words, you know that the reason the heel potato’d the face during the finish last night was because the face was green and sandbagging, no-selling like a jabroni.  Now he knows that if he tries to get out of doing the job and dropping the strap, he’ll get busted open the hard way.

22. You’re also fluent in Steiner-ease.

Professor Scott Steiner typography

Heh.

23. Any debate over who the strongest man in the world is has to include Brock Lesnar, Bill Goldberg, or Mark Henry.

Photo: Brock Lesnar F5’s The Big Show GIF

Photo:  Bill Goldberg jackhammers The Big Show

Photo: Mark Henry pulling a semi-truck

Otherwise it is invalid.

24. You consider yourself a Monday Night Wars Buff

 

Photo: Raw is War, Badass Billy Gunn holding up Mankind and Kevin Nash, WCW Monday Nitro

25. You know more about the Montreal Screwjob than the Kennedy Assassination.

Photo: Bret Hitman Hart, Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

Everybody knows Kennedy screwed Kennedy

26. You think everything is a work, EVERYTHING.

Photo:  Johnny Depp as Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas GIF

Seriously, when is Kaufman going to show up and finish the angle already?

27. You remember where you were when you heard about Owen, and Eddie, and countless others

 

Photo: In Memory of Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) 1965-1999, In Memory Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005

28. Maybe you still watch, maybe you don’t. But a big part of your childhood remains in front of that TV screen, respecting the hell out of the men and women who put their bodies on the line.

 

Photo: Hulk Hogan glares at Andre the Giant – Wrestlemania III

Making you think superheroes exist…

Photo: Stone Cold Steve Austin makes Vince McMahon pee his pants while holding a fake gun Bang 3:16

That you can get even with your boss.

Photo: Edge wins the world heavyweight title

That boyhood dreams really do come true…

It’s still real to you, dammit.