I buy stuff for me that I don’t like so I won’t eat it. My man buys stuff that he likes so I steal it. #confessionsofacerealthief

I think the dinosaurs from yesterday were hiding in the closet because they came back out when King James left. #confessionsofacerealthief

Maybe he should buy some more cereal while he’s out. #notreallybaby #confessionsofacerealthief

I don’t know why King James thought it was me anyway. I saw T-Rex scrounging for Special K red berries earlier. #confessionsofacerealthief

Cabinet Secretary Blacky cat claims he wants cereal but he really just wants milk. He’s gotta keep appearances. #confessionsofacerealthief

PM Imy’s neutral to cereal but has competing food sources in OnlyFatRabbit and King James. #shesstayingoutofit #confessionsofacerealthief

I’d say I morphed from rabbit to crab but I think an evil witch came overnight and turned me prior #crabsgotobed #confessionsofacerealthief

Tried to fend off the dinosaurs in crab form but all I ended up doing was pissing off cats #theyjustwanttocuddle #confessionsofacerealthief

Since all cat defenses are down, I’m a crab, and King’s away. The dinosaurs have overtaken the apt #lordhavemercy #confessionsofacerealthief

originally tweeted 6-6-2013  @onlyfatrabbit