If you read the IWA message board, you know that I am fed up with wrestling and ready to say “fck it” and be done with it. I’m tired of all the politics and disloyalty and then bitching and whining from some of the fans. It all definitely makes me sit back and wonder if the all the debt, blood, sweat and tears were worth it. That isn’t what you should be thinking about as you near a 10 year anniversary of doing something that used to be the focus of your entire life and one of the things that you loved most.

If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would not watch wrestling anymore, that I would not read about wrestling anymore, that I would not want to know anything about what was going on in wrestling anymore, I would have thought you were crazy. I stopped caring about other wrestling a long time ago but I never would have thought that I would start to lose my love for IWA.

I don’t think I need to go into the whole “the day that IWA and wrestling as a whole died to me”. I will just say that it has been dead to me for almost 2 years now. You can figure it out. That was when it became obvious that the wrestlers didn’t appreciate the large amount of debt and effort that went into things.

It would have been perfect for me to be able to call it quits with Mean Mitch Page earlier this year. We came in together at the same time. We would set up the ring and talk about how great it would be for me to manage him and the fun that we would have. We got to do that and boy it was a lot of fun. It would have been fitting to go out at the same time. But it wasn’t the right timing.

Ian retires at the end of the year and that will be his night. That could be a fitting time to call it quits as well. Best friends. First guy I ever managed. The man I had almost all my biggest feuds with. But he deserves to have that night all to himself (not that me quitting on the same day would really take any of the spotlight off of him but it would definitely be piggy backing on my part.)

Some people say, if you hate it that damn much, why are you still around? That is a great question. I am still around out of loyalty to Ian. I quit after Edge of Insanity 06. That was it. I had given my message and gotten a sense of satisfaction and I was done. I didn’t want it anymore. I was gone for two months. It was a different feeling but I was fine with it. Then things happened and Ian needed help since Patti can’t make all the shows due to James Christopher. I swore loyalty and allegience to Ian 10 years ago and by God that means everything to me. I am a man of my word and with all the bitching I’ve done about the lack of loyalty, I refuse to be a hypocrite and not be loyal myself.

Today and tomorrow will be very important days for my future…inside wrestling and out. In about half an hour, I have to be at a meeting at the nursing home to talk with my other grandma’s doctors to see what her prospects are for recovery and whatnot. I may have a lot of family obligations to take care of. I have neglected my family and lost life long friends because of my involvement in wrestling these last 10 years. I may have to rearrange my priorities. My aunt has breast cancer surgery on October 18 (would have been my mom’s birthday) and she will not be able to take care of my grandma for a long time if ever again so that will add even more family obligations to me.

Tomorrow will also be a big day for my future as far as helping get out of debt and whatnot. I desperately need it to go well.

I guess I will stop the rant. People don’t care to read it anyway.