blah blah blah

Well last night did not go well.  The couch and I did not get along.  Perhaps it was the extreme heat in the house.  I was sweating worse than a prostitute in church.  I eventually couldn’t take it anymore and I went down the hall, crawled into the spare bedroom and rummaged through the debris to pull out of the floor fan and drag it into the living room.  Problem sort of solved cause I still couldn’t fall directly to sleep.  Sleep and I are becoming mortal enemies.

My grandma woke me up at 8 am so we could do more mudding on the drywall in my room.  I took 10 minutes to get off the couch and up and going and she had already finished it.  Good grief.  Now she is yelling at me to get off the computer and trim the hedges out front even though they are covered in water cause it rained all night long.  The battle for sumpremacy rages on and I don’t like it.  I can tell that I’ve been home for too long.

I didn’t go to the gym today because the body was just too sore from the last two days plus the uncomfortability on the couch last night.  So instead I watched some tv with grandma.  She turned it on Oprah who is doing a five part series on being in debt and it ruining people’s lives.  She kept looking at me every five minutes and shaking her head.  It is not debt that is ruining my life although it plays a big part in it.  It is being annoyed all to hell and being treated like I’m a 10 year old instead of the damn near 30 that I am that has ruined the majority of my life but I digress.

I will end this update with a survey.  I especially like the rant at the end of the survey.  I am completely serious about the contest and the rules of my funeral.  I have my reasons and they have increased in number of late.

Good Day.

how badass is your life?
have you ever????
smoked?: no
drank beer?: I once took a sip of my Grandma’s Old Style when I was 7is by accident and it was God awful…never again
drank whiskey or vodka?: neither
slept in the same bed of the same sex?: I have shared a bed with my cousin as kids and on road trips. There is a famous story involving me screaming “Hey, Hey, Hey” and waking everyone up but I won’t go into it
made out with someone of the opposite sex?: yes
had someone in your room of the opposite sex?: yes
watched porn?: yes
lied to your parents?: yes
lied to your best friend?: yes
snuck out of the house?: yes
done something illegal?: yes
hurt someone badly?: yes
wished someone to die?: every single second of every single day
missed curfew?: I never did when I had a curfew
been to a therapist?: nope.
colored your hair?: no
been in a car accident?: yes
sniffed anything?: just nasal decongestive spray
wore arm bands: I made one when Nixon died to create a stir at school
wore band t-shirts: Ian, Mickie and I have the same Miranda Lambert tshirt so we can be triplets. I have a David Allan Coe shirt as well
listened to rap: upon occassion…usually just when it is ring music at a wrestling show
bought a 50-cent CD: never
dressed gothic: never
dressed prep: yes
dressed grunge: never
been too drunk to remember anything: never been drunk at all
had a crush on your neighbor: not on a neighbor
been to a concert: many a time
been called a slut to your face: no
called someone a slut to their face: yes
showered at someone of the same sex’s house: yes
showered with someone of the same sex: yes during gym class and after football games
brush your teeth with someone else’s toothbrush: no
seen an R rated movie in theaters: yeah
cruised the mall: yeah
cut classes (actually skipping school, not havinga parent call you in): in college
had a eating disorder: lots of places get my order wrong
cut yourself: kayfabe
had an injury: yes
caught something on fire: only when burning leaves and such in the back yard
lied about your age: no
been cheated on: no
talked to a stranger: yeah but I don’t like to
hugged a stranger: no
Met face to face with someone you met online: yeah
Stayed online for 12 hours straight: no
Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight: no
Watched TV for 12 hours straight: yes
Been to a fair: yeah
Been called a bad influence: yes – Jacob Lestina’s mom said I was a bad influence
been asked to stop cursing: yes
Prank called someone: no
recieved threats to turn you into the authorities: no
Laid in bed with someone of the opposite sex: yes
Cheated on a test: no
Cheated on homework: yes
Held hands with someone of the opposite sex: yes
Been pushed into a pool: no
like robots and dinosaurs?: no
Watched 5 hours of fuse straight: of what?
Had a crush on someone thats more than 15 years older than you: no
been called emo?: what the fuck is emo?
Wear eyeliner: no
Skinny dipped: nor fat dipped
Laughed at someone who was seriously hurt: yes
doubted your sexuality: no
stayed out all night: yes
have near death expirences 1 a month?: not that frequently
ate something nasty for a dare: I don’t take dares
stripped for a dare?: I don’t take dares
played strip poker or card game?: who would want to play that with me?
had a crush on your cousin?: no
had a detention more than 2 hours: no
flipped off a teacher to their face?: no
been obsessive over someone or something: yes
broken up with someone: no
been broken up with: yes
been in love: yes
gone out with someone you didnt like: no
cursed out a teacher: yes
regreted something you did while drunk or high: never been drunk or high
rejected someone: no
had a threesome: no
hit on someone in your family: no
gone out with someone and wished you were with someone els: no
made out with someone thinking it was someone else: no
made your bf/gf do something they didnt want to do: yes
had sex?: yes
been arrested: no
liked a friends bf/gf?: like yes
gotten in a MAJOR fist fight in public: not a major one
told your parents off (while cursing at them): no but I did do it to my grandma not too long ago
been suicidal: not really
shoplifted more than 2 things in a store: no
swam in a white t shrt: yes
would you ever
go to your worst enemy’s funneral: No it would be in bad taste for me to be celebrating and dancing and Ric Flair “whooo”ing while everyone else was sad. I would however have a competition between Ray & Fusion – first to piss on his grave is my number one fan assuming of course that neither one of them had something to do with his death CAUSE I WOULD NEVER ADVOCATE SUCH A THING *cough* *cough* unless the other one had eaten Taco Bell and gotten the runs and shit on his grave. That might be more impressive than pissing on it. But to answer the original question, I would not attend the funeral. Vice versa, if I die first, my instructions to family and friends will be to shoot first and ask questions later if he were to try to attend my funeral.
kill yourself: never
take a bullet for someone: absolutely. I don’t fear death. I welcome it. I would take a bullet for anyone that I liked
THE LAST QUESTION
whats the youngest you would ever have sex: well I was 25 but I probably would have done it earlier than that if a woman was willing so I don’t know
end this survey with a quote: Speak Loudly and Carry/Swing a barbed wire baseball bat

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