I don’t really have anything newsworthy to post. IWA has no shows this weekend so I get a free weekend to do whatever the hell I want to do. I’m going to Morris football game tomorrow. I’ll listen to the playoff pairing show on the radio tomorrow and cuss when we end up getting stuck in the same 8 team bracket with Joliet Catholic like everyone in the paper is predicting. I swear if I was coaching Morris, I would throw the game tomorrow night just to help the chances of staying in 5A by letting the bigger Plainfield school into the playoffs with the victory and maybe they will fill the position that would be taken by Morris in 6A. Going into the 9th game of the season, Dergo has 1766 yards rushing and has scored 33 touchdowns. I think he can do better than last years 2100 and 41 as long as we don’t get JCA in the second round of the playoffs.

Sara Evans, Brad Paisley and Sugarland were in Champaign tonight but I didn’t go. Ian had mentioned going a while back and that didn’t pan out. Jennessa wasn’t online earlier today when I was thinking of going for me to try to bribe with tickets to be seen in public with me. I might have even rented a pick up truck and worn a lamp shade on my head so the other people at the concert wouldn’t have seen that she was lowering her standards by being in public with someone that looked like me. It is probably a good thing I didn’t go though cause grandma wants to wake me up at 8 am so I can eat a real breakfast instead of just having cereal.

I’ve had to help my Aunt Faye with some personal problems the last couple of days so I’ve at least been of some use to someone.

My grandma made brownies for the first time in her life the other day and wow are they good. I’ve had 4 so far today and she started yelling at me about getting as big as my uncles…I assurred her that I would be dead long before I got that big and she yelled at me some more. You guys are really missing out when you can’t see my grandma and me going at it like that. Just ask Mickie. She would almost consider moving in here just to watch that, but since that would mean living with me, she wouldn’t do it but she’d think about it (for a second).

Well I’ll be eating a lot of pizza this weekend and watching the White Sox. I hope they beat the piss out of the Astros cause I can’t stand the Astros. If it weren’t for the Yankees, they would be my most hated team in baseball.

That about sums up the boredom of my life.

********************************************************************************

1. FIRST NAME: James

2. WHAT IS THE MOST PHYSICAL PAIN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN IN?
when I almost severed two of my fingers in a garage door while working for the city

3. DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE GUM WITH YOU? not always but most of the time

4. WHAT KIND OF MOUTHWASH DO YOU PREFER? Coke Zero

5. ARE YOU GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BI? STRAIGHT

6. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A GOOD KISSER? well Shaina found a way to live without it so…not good enough

7. WOULD YOU SEVER YOUR OWN PINKY FINGER WITH A KNIFE FOR 10 MILLION DOLLARS? I’d vote for Hilliary Clinton for 10 million dollars

8. DO YOU THINK MIDGETS ARE CREEPY? well seeing as my midget experience is Teo and Puppet and Short Dog…yes

9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN A HIGHER BEING? yes and I have done something somewhere along the way to piss that higher being off something fierce

10. IF YOU ARE A SMOKER, WHAT IS YOUR BRAND? Don’t smoke

11. WHAT IS YOUR DRUG OF CHOICE? Caffeine

12. BIG TRUCKS, LUXURY CARS, MOTOR CYCLES, OR FAST CARS? how about just a regular car but of those choices…luxury car

13. WHAT KIND OF SUNGLASSES DO YOU WEAR? I don’t

14. HAVE YOU EVER ENGAGED IN ANAL SEX? There is mixed company in the room!!!!!!

15. DOES YOUR LOCAL WATER TASTE GOOD? I have well water and I won’t drink it. I’m not even fond of drinking store bought water

16. WHAT KIND OF PC DO YOU HAVE? emachine

17. HOW OFTEN DO YOU POOP? after every time I eat…I have pepto bismol in the car as insurance

18. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT DRUNK? It was a cold day in hell and the pigs were flying high and I do believe that the cow finally jumped over the moon

19. IF YOU HIT A 50 MILLION LOTTO, WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD BUY? A new life.

20. DO YOU EVER GAMBLE? I spend a dollar on the lottery when it gets over $100 million

21. IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? White House

22. WHAT IS YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER? which one?

23. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FLAT TIRE? yep and luckily I carry a spare tire around my waist

24. ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW HAIRY IS YOUR ASS? compared to who?

25. DO YOU LIKE PRESIDENT BUSH? I voted for him

16. ARE YOU HUNGRY RIGHT NOW? I could eat

17. WHAT IS/WAS YOUR FAVORITE SCHOOL LUNCH? pizza, chili, cheeseburger, fries and cornbread…had it just about every Friday in high school….mmmmmmmmmmmm

18. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST FOOD? fried apples, sausage, scrambled eggs with cheese, biscuits

19. WHAT IS THE OLDEST ITEM IN YOUR HOUSE? The fridge and stove are older than me

20. HOW MANY CD’S DO YOU HAVE? I don’t keep count

21. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK YOU WET THE BED? It was a cold day in hell and the pigs were flying high and I do believe that the cow finally jumped over the moon and I decided to never drink again

22. IF YOU COULD HAVE SEX WITH ANY ONE PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE? the woman that would marry me

23. HAVE YOU EVER UNDERGONE SURGERY? NO

24. WHEN YOU STUB YOUR TOE OR BUMP YOUR HEAD, WHAT DO YOU USUALLY SAY? I don’t know…the next time it happens I’ll make a special post about it cause I know everyone is dying to know my reaction.

25. DO YOU ENJOY MAKING PEOPLE FEEL STUPID? Enjoy is such a strong word in this context…like works much better

26. WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PERSON AT WORK/SCHOOL? The guy that sits atop the shit list…Maniwa will know who I refer to, others may not but it’s not important anyway

27. WHAT BRAND IS YOUR CELL PHONE? Motorola

28. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING? There is mixed company in the room

29. HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT ANYONE MASTURBATING? NO

30. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU PUKED? can’t say I wrote it down on my calendar so I’m not sure

31. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 29 in a couple of weeks

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SKY DIVE OR BUNGEE JUMP? I’ve sort of bungee jumped already so that

33. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ARRESTED? not yet

34. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SHAVE? about once a week

35. DO YOU THINK THE MIDGET QUESTION (8.) WAS OVER THE LINE? No

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BEER? why all the alcohol questions?

37. GIRLS: DO YOU SWALLOW?

GUYS: DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND SWALLOW? mixed company in the room and I don’t have a girlfriend so I can’t answer anyway

FAGS: DO YOU SWALLOW?

38. ARE YOU RACIST? when given a reason to be but I usually hate everybody equally

39. DO YOU THINK FARTS ARE FUNNY? when it is Maniwa farting on Tommy Thomspon’s head to wake him up at the hotel

40. LIBERAL, CONSERVATIVE, OR NEITHER? very very very conservative

41. IS YOUR BUSH HAIRY, TRIMMED, OR SHAVED? WTF?

42. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? hot dogs, sauerkraut,

43. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION? I’m not answering those kind of questions

44. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF YOUR BODY? I hate every part of my body so I don’t have a favorite part

45. ARE YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT THE MIDGET QUESTION? No

46. IF AN ENTIRE STATE IN AMERICA WERE TO VANISH, WHICH DO YOU THINK WOULD NOT LIKELY BE MISSED? Wisconsin is what I would wish to disappear. I don’t think anyone would miss Iowa, Wyoming, Montana or Utah either

47. HAVE YOU EVER FLUSHED A DECEASED PET DOWN THE TOILET? Nope

48. WHO ARE BETTER DRIVERS, MEN OR WOMEN? Neither

49. ARE YOU SEXIST? No.

50. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE DUMBEST SPORT IS? soccer or hockey

51. DO YOU FORWARD CHAIN EMAILS THAT CLAIM TO BE GOOD/BAD LUCK? No.

52. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING THIS VERY SECOND? I need to poop and I’m sure I’m angry about something

53. DO YOU SLOW DOWN AT CAR ACCIDENTS ATTEMPTING TO CATCH A GLIMPSE? no

54. WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING OTHER THAN CHECKING YOUR MYSPACE? sleeping

55. HAVE YOU EVER HAD JURY DUTY? Nope got out of it.

56. DO YOU KNOW YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD? since I was 9

57. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE SAYING “OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD” ORIGINATED? I believe it was from a Frenchman that spoke bad English that was at a beheading back in the medieval times

58. ERA OYU DYXLESIC? clever trevor

59. DID YOU ENJOY THIS SURVEY MORE THAN THE AVERAGE “TIRED” ONES THAT HAVE BEEN GOING AROUND FOR YEARS? it passed the time

60. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO AN ANIMAL? I’m scared now and would like to change the answer to question 59