Friday morning I had to go to the airport to pick up Billy Gunn. I assumed that he already knew the bad news but he didn’t say anything about the passing of Candido when we shook hands as he came through the security check point. We went downstairs to get his bags and his phone rang. I heard him say “Bullshit” and then hang up. He placed a call and got a voicemail and said “Call me brother.” He then turned to me and said “Chris is going to be here tonight, right?” My heart dropped to my the bottom of my stomach. He could tell by the look on my face and said “Don’t fcking tell me it is true” and I had to shake my head while biting my lip. I can’t believe that I had to be the one to verify it for him and he just walked away from me so he could be alone for a couple of minutes.

Axl was running the show since Ian was in Europe and he had been best friends with Chris since they were 15 years old. I knew it was going to be rough on him and I wasn’t looking forward to the 10 bell salute before the show. We’ve had to do plenty of 10 bell salutes before and they never really hurt me this badly because I never really knew any of them. JProdigy hit me hard since he was the first guy I managed in IWA outside of Ian. Still though, I didn’t have any contact with him outside of the shows. Candido was different. Axl addressed the locker room and told us to get ready to go out. Maniwa played Back in Black and it was everything I could do to not cry right there. Axl told me that bygones could be bygones for a night and I could get in the ring with him and Billy and Patti but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Patti couldn’t get into the ring either. I just stood on the floor and cried my eyes out.

I decided to attempt to pull out all the stops in my courtship of Mickie. I started by offering to pull out of War Games to win her over. She didn’t go for it. I enlisted the help of BJ for the project and we sang “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” while wearing sunglasses. I think we made an excellent Maverick and Goose ala Top Gun. Alas, it didn’t work. I told BJ he could leave and go back to commentary and encourage me from there. I went on to sing “I Can Love You Like That” from John Michael Montgomery. That didn’t work either. I then read her a poem I wrote. That didn’t work either. I then dropped to a knee and while trying to summons some strength, I got kicked between the eyes and knocked loopy. I was only going to ask her to a Cubs game. BJ got excited when he say the tickets were for the Reds/Cubs since he is from the Cincy area and he said that he’d go with me. Nothing against BJ but I don’t think he is a good consolation prize in this case. My night was done and I didn’t do a thing in Herrin except for helping with the assembly of the cage.

I keep wondering why Candido had to be taken away from us. It keeps running through my mind all weekend that it isn’t fair that he dies after he cleans up his act. Why couldn’t it have been me instead? Less people would be affected. I didn’t even want to be at wrestling shows this weekend. It didn’t feel right to be someplace that Chris should have been and it definitely couldn’t have been fun. As I stood in the airport on Friday morning, I kept remembering every time I picked Candido up from the airport. Everytime I would see someone with white hair coming down the escalator my heart would skip a beat and hope that it would be him and everything would be ok. On the drive home from Herrin, on two different occassions, a song would come on the radio about heaven and I would just start thinking about all the good times we had and cry some more. I don’t think I can use the term “Fannin Family” any more at the shows. It wouldn’t seem right now that we lost one of our own. Maybe it will just be “Team Fannin” in reference to War Games and leave it at that.

I know that he can see this so: Chris it was an honor and a priviledge to know you and I cherish every memory of you making me laugh and being a great friend. You will be sorely missed and I will never be able to go to another wrestling show where I won’t remember something about you and hopefully eventually it will be able to make me smile instead of make me cry. I love you and I will miss you brother. Rest in Peace with pride that you were able to beat your demons and straighten out your life in time. I’ll look forward to seeing you again someday at the wrestling ring in the sky.